the death of john travolta's son, jett, has been particularly unpleasant for me. dying of a seizure while getting into the bathtub.

i heard about the death first on msn, and then my mother sent me a link (because she's my mum and this is the equivalent of sending newspaper clippings) about the death.

to tell you the truth folks, i don't always shower when there are other people in the house. i try to, but it's about 40-60. i know i shouldn't shower when i am alone, but, sometimes i do. it's not that responsible of me, but i try to reason, i am SO careful in other areas, can't i have a bit of grace in this one? shouldn't it all even out in the wash, sort of?

i then remind myself that jett travolta died with people in the next room, which is a sobering thought. there are several scenarios where it is nice to be bathing and showering with someone, but, what if you've just come back from a midmorning hike? even though it is cold you have the outline of where the camelback was resting against your back, and it is all sweaty?

to be fully responsible to myself, do i need to have someone in the bathroom with me while i shower? for the rest of my life?

i have fought so hard and given up so many "basic essentials" that most people enjoy to get the quality of life i have now. no drinking, VERY few late nights, i sleep a LOT to combat the tiredness, i live with a slow metabolism, hair loss, temper troubles and weight issues. but i have a great quality of life. i just need to be careful about the parametres i live in.

for some reason, having supervision while showering just seems like a mammoth privacy issue removed. not sure why this one bites more than others. but if i owe it to myself, my magnificent and my family…shouldn't i?

can i? of course.

will i? i have so far, but we'll see how it goes.