the triumverate and i saw something very sad today.

we were driving to school, and became aware that traffic was stalling in an area of town (kennedy town) along the waterfront where there are no traffic jams normally. i looked around and saw a police car and a firetruck. without thinking anything ominous, i called the kids attention to it. as always, they were riveted by the police car and immediately began thinking of scenarios. a fire, baddies captured, treasures found…all options briefly discussed then discarded.

and then.

i saw an ambulance.

and a big boat in the water, and a bigger boat beside it. and crowds lined up along the waterfront, looking into the water.

the kids looked too.

and saw a man being hoisted out of the water. face down. definitely dead.

immediately the questions started. why did he fall, how did he get there is he cold why isn't he crying where is his mummy, mummy?

and did i get creative.

"well you know how when we walk along the side of the pool how slippery it is and how the lifeguard always says dont run and sometimes you do and you don't know why he gets so upset with you? because it is easy to fall in! and when you're balancing it is easy to lose your balance and fall, like when you are losing your balance on a log at small world."

they were skeptical. why wasn't he moving? thank goodness the car was and they couldn't see the body anymore. "well, after swimming he is probably quite tired!"

there have been times in my life when i have been horrified. dismayed. looked to escape. today when i saw that body i wondered how far away from that despair i have known this person was. and if he tried to reach out, and could only find what he thought were answers in the cold water.

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8 Replies to “”

  1. Oh ouch. That had to have been a shock to see that with the kids in tow. I could also see myself saying, “Look at the firetruck!” and in the spilt second after calling their attention to it, thinking, “Oh, no!”
    I think you did a good job of recovery, but I’m I’ve spent enough time around a pool to know that the kids will be at it again soon. That is life.
    I’m sorry that a soul out there didn’t know how much they were loved and how much they will be missed. I hope the people left to pick up the pieces know they aren’t alone either.

    Reply

  2. (shoot, typos everywhere up there!)

    Reply

  3. I hope the kids don’t remmber this long. How awful for you!

    Reply

  4. Yes, quick recovery. But things to protect them from are everywhere.

    Reply

  5. tripleblessings May 30, 2008 at 3:39 am

    Well recovered, for the kids’ sake. What a shock for you. I will send a prayer for that man and his family, whoever they are.

    Reply

  6. Dad aka GDad Blake May 30, 2008 at 4:05 am

    I know my message is not fully on point but it does relate to death.
    One reason I feel children should have pets is so they can learn to love, learn to grieve and learn that the death of a pet is more than balanced by wonderful memories of that pet evrn if it died accidentally.
    I know you handled the situation well and just wanted to assure you that none of the children in your care will be damaged by what they saw. They learned a bit about death and will continue to learn about love.
    Life and love to All…..Dad

    Reply

  7. Wow, I love what your Dad wrote and agree with him!
    How sad for you guys, though. My oldest brother once saw a vehicle go over a bridge somewhere in Saskatchewan (or maybe it was Alberta??) and he stopped to try and save the passenger from the water. The person died and my brother was very traumatized by the whole thing. In fact, he changed a lot after that. It really impacts someone, eh??
    My younger two and I were driving along once when a person had just jumped off the overpass we were driving under. I somehow quickly distracted them from the body laying on the highway and they are still none the wiser.

    Reply

  8. I remember when my three were two or so years old, we were at the mall, and we found a woman who had died parking her car – heart attack or something, she just kept driving in the parking lot and smashed into a barrier. Car was on, tires flat, woman slumped over the wheel. I called the ambulance and my three were in the stroller as I tried to figure out if she was alive (she definitely was not). The girls were enthralled with the fire truck/paramedics and the police officers that came to talk to me as I had to stick around until they arrived and were through with figuring out what happened. They don’t of course even remember it, but I remember trying to figure out what to say. At age 5, they seem to be interested in death, though they don’t of course understand it. But then it was hard enough for me, as this lady was going to Christmas shop at the mall and simply died. It touches everyone, but I think suicide is particularly devastating.

    Reply

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ABOUT AUTHOR
WANTED FOR BLOGGING

a 34 year old mother of four.

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8 Replies to “”

  1. Oh ouch. That had to have been a shock to see that with the kids in tow. I could also see myself saying, “Look at the firetruck!” and in the spilt second after calling their attention to it, thinking, “Oh, no!”
    I think you did a good job of recovery, but I’m I’ve spent enough time around a pool to know that the kids will be at it again soon. That is life.
    I’m sorry that a soul out there didn’t know how much they were loved and how much they will be missed. I hope the people left to pick up the pieces know they aren’t alone either.

    Reply

  2. (shoot, typos everywhere up there!)

    Reply

  3. I hope the kids don’t remmber this long. How awful for you!

    Reply

  4. Yes, quick recovery. But things to protect them from are everywhere.

    Reply

  5. tripleblessings May 30, 2008 at 3:39 am

    Well recovered, for the kids’ sake. What a shock for you. I will send a prayer for that man and his family, whoever they are.

    Reply

  6. Dad aka GDad Blake May 30, 2008 at 4:05 am

    I know my message is not fully on point but it does relate to death.
    One reason I feel children should have pets is so they can learn to love, learn to grieve and learn that the death of a pet is more than balanced by wonderful memories of that pet evrn if it died accidentally.
    I know you handled the situation well and just wanted to assure you that none of the children in your care will be damaged by what they saw. They learned a bit about death and will continue to learn about love.
    Life and love to All…..Dad

    Reply

  7. Wow, I love what your Dad wrote and agree with him!
    How sad for you guys, though. My oldest brother once saw a vehicle go over a bridge somewhere in Saskatchewan (or maybe it was Alberta??) and he stopped to try and save the passenger from the water. The person died and my brother was very traumatized by the whole thing. In fact, he changed a lot after that. It really impacts someone, eh??
    My younger two and I were driving along once when a person had just jumped off the overpass we were driving under. I somehow quickly distracted them from the body laying on the highway and they are still none the wiser.

    Reply

  8. I remember when my three were two or so years old, we were at the mall, and we found a woman who had died parking her car – heart attack or something, she just kept driving in the parking lot and smashed into a barrier. Car was on, tires flat, woman slumped over the wheel. I called the ambulance and my three were in the stroller as I tried to figure out if she was alive (she definitely was not). The girls were enthralled with the fire truck/paramedics and the police officers that came to talk to me as I had to stick around until they arrived and were through with figuring out what happened. They don’t of course even remember it, but I remember trying to figure out what to say. At age 5, they seem to be interested in death, though they don’t of course understand it. But then it was hard enough for me, as this lady was going to Christmas shop at the mall and simply died. It touches everyone, but I think suicide is particularly devastating.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

ABOUT AUTHOR
WANTED FOR BLOGGING

a 34 year old mother of four.

RECENT POSTS
BREAD AND THE BAD BIT

Are sandwich letters a bad thing? You know sandwich letters, you’ve received one before, everyone has. They’re an impersonal form of rejection. Think back to

More precious than silver

Love comes in many forms. It isn’t my dad’s birthday, and it certainly isn’t Father’s Day, but today I want to dedicate my blog to

ohhh…THAT blue dress girl

monica lewinsky was on the cover of a magazine the other day. she is a person i have a great deal of sympathy for. bill

Water: essential or a loved luxury?

when i first moved to hong kong in may 1997, charles and i were had student loans and virtually no capital. his contract was ending

Face it, its a facelift

This weeks’ cover of people magazine sees hollywood babes denigrate plastic surgery. they all do. yet no one is getting older in that celluloid, cellulite