the other afternoon carys had a doctor’s appointment. this in itself is hardly surprising and blogworthy, however, coming home to an empty home was an entirely new experience for miss carys.

the rest of the family had headed down to a nearby playground to do some swinging and general degradation of their machinery. they weren’t at our playground. no problem for carys and i, who came upstairs.

i unlocked the door, we slid our feet from our "plip-plops" and then i walked into the flat and began doing my thing…immediately returning things to people’s rooms, putting phones in cradels, ah the excitement of it all. carys meanwhile, raced down the hallway, first checked her room, then the playroom, then my room, followed by the bathrooms, kitchen, backhallway and everywhere else she could think of.

she came back to me with a solemn pronounciation, "there are no people here, mummy."

there have been few times in her life that she has been alone in the flat, and i doubt she can ever remember any of them.

at first, carys was quite pleased with her ownership of the flat. she sat in my lap and i read her the books of her choice. prime view, prime material. she was chuffed. then the phone rang and it was charles, wondering how the appointment had gone so i let carys play while i talked with charles. i wandered around, got a little bit to eat and remembered that carys was in the flat. i found her in the playroom, reading some more, with a few dolls strewn around her. i let her be. how much chance for independent play does this girl really get?

cars zoomed by, pictures were drawn without anyone breaking her crayons or drawing on her masterpieces and i remembered how days with sebastian were, and how fewer dramas there are.

but carys, apparently forgot all this, because she came walking up to me at one point, 90 minutes after our homecoming and declared again. "there are no people here. i miss sela and my brothers."

even with all the additional heartache and stolen crayons, she missed her peeps.