forgiveness is a tough one.

three common reasons for forgiveness?

– makes us look good to others

– to stop other people talking about it

– we don’t want to spend so much time thinking about the issue

interestingly, forgiving because it is "the right thing to do" does not come up on that list. why should it?

but really forgiving can take a lot of effort. energy, even. loving the person as you did before they hurt you. wanting to get to know them more, even though they initially put you off. not always thinking of the issue when you are together. or even better, feeling a little superior to them because you have forgiven them for hurting you.

forgiveness. i am good at forgiving people who have hurt me, possibly because i have been forgiven so much in my life. however, when people hurt those i love, my forgiveness is not so hasty.

here’s what respected author lewis smeades has to say about forgiveness:

when you forgive someone,

you are dancing to the rhythm of the divine heartbeat…

God invented forgiveness as the only way

to keep his romance with the human race alive.

what is so romantic about forgiveness? why do i still have a tough time forgiving those who hurt my loved ones even though i know my loved ones are guilty of the crime they were attacked for? because i am the only one who has the right to make that observation?