thanks for your kind messages and emails. we have appreciated them. in asia the mindset tends to be, "they’re animals! no different from the cows you eat. get over it." hearing your stories of animals you’ve loved makes us smile. you get it.
this getting used to not having a cat will not be an overnight situation.
when i was cutting up turkey and thawing turkey stock, i worried about whether olivia would get into the stock and drink it.
when i laid out the floorlength black beaded ball gown i wore to an event last night, i lifted it up immediately, knowing that olivia would soon jump on the bed and ruck up the fabric with her ultra powerful nails.
when i left the house this morning, i wondered if i should turn on the heater, because olivia does like cosiness.
all week long, little thoughts like this.
so how can you manage when someone huge in your life absents from it? if mc and i had broken up (ie: if God hadn’t been so good to me), i would have mourned things like never having him hold my finger, instead of my hand, as we walked through a crowd, but i would have been mourning the failure of the relationship, and at some point he would have been a jerk, i would have been a jerk, etc.
but in death, you’re not mourning the failure of the relationship, you’re mourning it’s end.the finality. there is no chance you will be getting back together on this earth. all those things about the person that made up your daily habits and patterns, no longer necessary, but you did it for them, and you think of them while doing them, as you have been doing for them for how many years.
i cannot properly imagine what it is like to lose a child or lover.
losing a loved cat is painful enough.
and she was very loved.
the resilience of the human spirit amazes me.
Reader interactions
5 Replies to “tea and sympathy”
I lost my mom 6 years ago, very suddenly (pulmonary embolus), and it was just like that: I’d see something on tv and think, ‘oh i’ve got to call her.’ the phone would ring and I’d expect to hear her voice. I’d see something in a shop and think, ‘mom would love that, i’ll buy it for her.’ Just for a split second each time–but there it was, just like your thoughts w/ olivia. losing a parent is terribly hard, but it makes more sense, in terms of chronology, than losing a child. I cannot imagine that at all. the fact that olivia is in your mind when you’re doing these tasks means she was an integral part of your family, and very well loved.
it hurts. but you don’t lose them completely. a loved pet, just like a loved one, becomes part of who you are. that part never goes away.
*HugS*
hugs and kisses xoxoxo
Even after 3 years I still miss my little Angel girl. After 16 years of companionship how can you not?!
Olivia will be with you forever sweetie. Hugs.
We’re still mourning the loss of a very loved kitty we lost in the fall. It’s not a daily thing now, but there are times I realize Emily will not remember him other than our stories about him.I’m sad she doesn’t know the kitty who laid on my pregnant belly every night, making us joke she’d be born expecting everyone to purr.
They become part of the family, and then some, and it’s hard to see them go.