confessions

before i get into the catholic mindset, here is a quick update…we’re having a fantastic Christmas season. yesterday was so easy and wonderful, i had done everything in advance, so the day itself was relaxed and fun. steph and dale and their kids came over, and while sebastian wasn’t a "PERFECT" sharer, considering the circumstances, he did very well. we ate so much during dinner that we delayed dessert for three hours and late dessert around 9.30pm. pecan pie, pumpkin pie, nanaimo bars, rice krispie squares….a nice end to the day.

this morning was great as well…relaxing…i finished a book i started yesterday, the l atest in the adrian mole series. i used to love reading moley’s adventures but then it got so depressing i stopped…but i was delighted to receive the latest book. spoke with everyone, went for a run with magnificent, and then a birthday party. and in a few hours, we are having five friends over for dinner, which should clear up a lot of fridge space!

um confessions, right.

remember back in oh september or october i said i was going to go back to kick boxing? i never did. i DID write the owner (the one i had problems with), and when i didn’t hear back from him for two weeks i figured that they didn’t deserve my pesos. so, i said i was going to, but i didn’t.

the other thing is…i have started writing a new book. (as opposed to the three other half finished manuscripts sitting in various stages of disarray.) if anyone knows anyone in publishing or who is a reputable agent, could you please let me know? they say you should write about what you know, so this book is about multiples. (believe me, it will be better than it sounds). but getting published is TOUGH these days and i could use either a good agent or someone working in a publishing house that would be willing to read a sample chapter, instead of throwing the manuscript into the slush pile, where unsolicited manuscripts end up.

it would be so great to get somewhere with this dream, and i would appreciate your help very much.

kids are good….it is the oddest thing..both girls have chipped their front teeth, while jasper, the least coordinated still has perfect teeth. i think it is because the girls gain speed while running, so falling is a pretty violent action for them, while jasper never gets faster than a swift plod. if he had hair, it wouldn’t ruffle when he runs, and if the girls had hair, theirs would move when they break into a trot. yes, that’s it.

we had a great evening tonight.

all of us (including baby melissa!) headed down to central at about 4.45pm. we met up with charles in front of the prince’s building, to look at the spectacular Christmas decorations outside. there is about a 60 foot tree, santa’s workshop, a nativity scene, candy canes, intricate classy decorations, lots of fantastic stuff. the grounds are immaculate..it’s a well run operation. the weather was crisp but not chilly, and the kids, sebastian in particular were very impressed with the decorations. sela kept saying ‘cismistee‘ and has successfully indoctrinated her sister to the phrase, so for the rest of the evening we kept hearing ‘cismistee‘.

we took a couple of family pictures, we had the usual people taking pictures of our kids, and it was all good. no one was too aggressive or trying to pick them up. i was able to put down my purse when i needed to be holding two kiddies at once, and i never worried that it would be stolen. hong kong is a safe city — like i needed another reason to love hong kong.

we then walked over to pacific place, where mcharles bought tickets for us all (including baby melissa) to see santa. sebastian is having an interesting time with the santa concept…he likes the idea of santa, but knows that Christmas is about Jesus. mc said he always grew up knowing that santa was a fun fairytale, but never once considered it serious. "i mean, living in the north pole? no one does that, tess. i knew that at four." but seb was happy to look at santa and didn’t mind the idea of sitting on his knee. the babies on the other hand, they DID. carys forgot about cismistees and concentrated on weeping willows. so santa suggested he stand behind the babies, out of sight, and wave to the camera. and you know, it was a great picture. maybe if we ask magnificent nicely, he will post it.

then we went out for dinner at dan ryans. sela insisted on using her fork, so it was a bit slow going and most of her food ended up on the ground, but it was a good meal, no major melt downs.

then we came home. i am happy (and somewhat surprised) to report that the Christmas panic has not hit me. there is nothing really last minute to do. this is a bit of a surprise, but it is also the truth. possibly because the friends we are having over for dinner on the 26th are people we have had Christmas with two years in a row, and we are pretty easy going and compatible on how Christmas dinners should run. steph definitely makes the superior stuffing, so she is in charge of that, but i am providing homemade pies, the turkey (easy), gravy, peas, offering wine, rice krispie squares, peanut butter cookies and ice cream. remind me though, i do need to get whipped cream for the pie. no worries there. sebastian is loving all the baking, and has helped me make several batches of biscuits, etc.

it’s a nice way to feel, just a few days before Christmas!

xoxoxo

what the good wife doesn’t say

i am irritating magnificent. i know i am. i am irritating myself.

ever since his (admittedly brief) hospital excursion, i have been waiting for him to take the doctors orders and remove some stress from his life. i am waiting surreptitiously, and through little questions. and direct ones. so no matter what sets him off, i am doing it.

and remembering how cats know they are going to die and try to escape outside right before they do, i am also googling

"sixth sense people knowing bad health approaching"

because the fact is, HE checked himself into the emergency room.

so instead of being grateful that things ended as well as they did, i am probably adding to the stress level by asking idiotic questions. pressing him.

charles made a good point when i asked him why he wasn’t staying home from work.

"it would be worse if i was lying around knowing the work was piling up even higher."

yes, but…doctor said remove stress.

how are we meant to do that?

it is no fair to men that so much of their self definition is tied into their role of provider. even if i went back to work full time, charles would not be working less because just about everywhere, people are working very long hours! in toronto we know one dad who comes home at night by 6pm to have dinner wtih his kids. that sounds good…you think….but then he goes back to the office.

there are small towns with semi normal working hours, but any small town job charles has applied for he has been politely refused for. (okay, the last one was a few years ago, but we got the message.)

when charles was talking to a colleague at work about another position opening up in the company they told him that it was 24/7. i laughed when charles reported this to me, and said, what do they think you work now?

we’ve been down this muchos stress at work road before, young mcharles and i, and it is tough. incredible stress at work equals longer hours at work and restless and focusing on work those few hours he is at home. it is tough for him, and yes, tough for me also.

i remember this road. we survived, as we always will, but it wasn’t fun. this is nothing about the seven year itch, and everything about the itchy blister that can’t rest because it is always being walked on. the blister hurts the foot, the shoe, and eventually explodes all over the sock.

which item of that charming illustration would i like to be?

none of them. but here we are.

sore hand, warm heart

will tell you all about the interesting saturday night hong kong had.

although my protesting went no further than weakly exclaiming i didn’t need a third piece of cake, i managed to get hurt when at 1.30am i fell down five steps in my MUCH loved 2.5inch nine west ankle strap, faux jewel encrusted shoes. i have hurt my wrist, fingers, shoulder, and have deep still yet to completely surface bruises on my left hand side hip, leg, ankle, ribs and feet. shoes are fine. yay!

very briefly….Christmas can be a lonely time of year for many filipinos in hong kong. as you know, lita and her husband de work with us here, and for Christmas we could have sent one of them home (helpers are entitled to one two week holiday every two year contract, in less than 8 months de has been home for three weeks, and in two years lita has been home four times for two weeks each visit), but instead we thought that it would work out better if their daughter, 18 month old baby melissa, came to visit us instead.

so lita went back to the philippines on thursday, spent the weekend with baby melissa, familiarising herself with her again, and then brought her back to hong kong last night. poor melissa is a trooper, but was quite overwhelmed with the new faces, language, the cold…etc! poor sebastian was bursting to show his love…he’s been praying for baby melissa since she was born! and he gave her chips off his plate (! this is huge), moved carys’ crib closer to jasper’s to show baby melissa could sleep on the floor close to his bed, and gave her kisses and cuddles long before she was ready for them.

after a good night’s sleep and some pasta and bolognaise sauce, baby melissa has been introduced to all the like aged kids in the playground and is exploring more. lita is SO CHUFFED. i love seeing her like this, and de is thrilled. sela is throwing kisses, jasper is still a little confused, and carys is watching and approaching her often.

hand and ribs sore, sitting like this isn’t fun, so i am off. to take sela to a drs appointment.

– mc not well, in hospital last night….all seems to be well this morning though.

a friend of mine is engaged.

it’s good news for both of them – they’re both old enough to appreciate the gem they have in their soon to be spouse.

we’ve been expecting the engagement for a while, he’s moving for school and they had talked about getting engaged, she’s been asking a mutual friend how soon a church needs to be booked, and the same friend saw her with a bride magazine. so while i was delighted to hear the news, i certainly wasn’t surprised.

i have heard all about the ring and seen a photo. really lovely. she has great hands, which helps.

the odd thing is, although they are engaged, she’s not telling anyone because she wants to break the news at the big Christmas Eve bash she and her DINK friends are going to at a young married DINK’s house.

her parents are sworn to secrecy. she really wants to save the news for Christmas Eve. and then she mentioned that she hates having to wear her ring twisted around (gem side down) and sometimes on another finger. forgetting what bride brain is like, i was foolish enough to ask her why she was waiting until CE.

"because i want to make the big announcement in front of a large crowd! everyone will be there! all our friends will be there and it will be the big news of the evening!" she replied, very honestly.

"do you need to make a sensation? why don’t you tell them at another party?"

"well yes, i’m the bride! and besides, it wouldn’t be fair to tell some people first. i need everyone together."

some people are scene stealers, no doubt about it. by the way, i was told about the engagement because i will not be at the Christmas Eve party, i am far enough away, i don’t know her friends too well, and there is no chance that i will blurb out the big news before she is ready.

when magnificent and i got engaged, i was on the phone making long distance calls left right and centre. we were under a time constraint, we were waiting for JOSEPH AND THE TECHNICOLOUR DREAMCOAT to start, and were trying to cram in calls to both sets of parents before the lights dimmed for the final time. we called siblings during intermission. i can remember smiling during that entire performance and today, joseph is one of my all time fave musicals.

but my friend needs to make a sensation. and really, why not?

did you wait two weeks to announce your engagement at a public function??? would you? if so, why?

a friend of mine is engaged.

it’s good news for both of them – they’re both old enough to appreciate the gem they have in their soon to be spouse.

we’ve been expecting the engagement for a while, he’s moving for school and they had talked about getting engaged, she’s been asking a mutual friend how soon a church needs to be booked, and the same friend saw her with a bride magazine. so while i was delighted to hear the news, i certainly wasn’t surprised.

i have heard all about the ring and seen a photo. really lovely. she has great hands, which helps.

the odd thing is, although they are engaged, she’s not telling anyone because she wants to break the news at the big Christmas Eve bash she and her DINK friends are going to at a young married DINK’s house.

her parents are sworn to secrecy. she really wants to save the news for Christmas Eve. and then she mentioned that she hates having to wear her ring twisted around (gem side down) and sometimes on another finger. forgetting what bride brain is like, i was foolish enough to ask her why she was waiting until CE.

"because i want to make the big announcement in front of a large crowd! everyone will be there! all our friends will be there and it will be the big news of the evening!" she replied, very honestly.

"do you need to make a sensation? why don’t you tell them at another party?"

"well yes, i’m the bride! and besides, it wouldn’t be fair to tell some people first. i need everyone together."

some people are scene stealers, no doubt about it. by the way, i was told about the engagement because i will not be at the Christmas Eve party, i am far enough away, i don’t know her friends too well, and there is no chance that i will blurb out the big news before she is ready.

when magnificent and i got engaged, i was on the phone making long distance calls left right and centre. we were under a time constraint, we were waiting for JOSEPH AND THE TECHNICOLOUR DREAMCOAT to start, and were trying to cram in calls to both sets of parents before the lights dimmed for the final time. we called siblings during intermission. i can remember smiling during that entire performance and today, joseph is one of my all time fave musicals.

but my friend needs to make a sensation. and really, why not?

did you wait two weeks to announce your engagement at a public function??? would you? if so, why?

i have definite tastes and ideas when it comes to girls clothes.

when i was choosing dresses for the flower girls at my wedding, i was encouraged to go with pouffy skirts and ruffles. crinoline, possibly?

and i just

could

not.

instead, i found some sensible, pretty april cornell dresses, and had the girls wear those. and can i tell you how beautiful they looked. april cornell is fantastic for young girls – not too girly, not adult clothes in kids sizes sort of thing.

so if i am so anti-ruffle for the girls (and i am, unless it is ruffled panties on bottoms or leotards) and for myself, then why oh why did i do possibly the stupidist thing i have done in a LONG time, that has delighted all my children?

today i found some disney shoes. in a range of sizes. so what, i thought, in a few years i will get the girls mules. they will like them. but then i saw the tiniest pair of shoes….a clear plastic (faux glass) with cinderella’s picture at the toe. glitter interspersed amongst the plastic. a tiny heel.

i would like to think that i would have kept going, but the price, and 35 years as frugal blake’s daughter, made me buy them.

the shoes were $10 hong kong

that, compadres, is $2 canadian. for disney shoes.

so i also bought jasper a pair of pink mules with fuzzies at the toes (belle) and sebastian a pair of blue (tinkerbell?) shoes. just in case he wants to fit in.

i came home and the kids were enchanted. sela erupted into screams when we took the shoes off for her bath. they’re plastic, she probably could have worn them in the bath. and they’re all stomping uncertainly across the floor looking like whoopi goldberg in heels. they’re clutching on to surfaces and uneven and so proud of themselves.

pitysoo

yes, they’re pretty shoes.

i hesitate to write this entry, because i know my mother and sisters are delighted right now, and at the soonest possible opportunity are going to be obnoxious about this weakness on my part. well, all i can or will say is that….um, where was i…or right, you bug me, i won’t post pictures of it.

and i have to admit, watching all four of my children tumbling around the playroom in joe boxer pyjamas and heels, is an amusing sight.

what was i thinking? who am i? next i’ll relinquish my peta membership and buy everyone mink coats? we’ll be junior j-los? OY!

the best word to describe me today was "snappish".

not impressive. but what’s a girl to do? upon taking the babies to their 18 month evaluations, besides the fear of what the dr would say and the frustration of jasper and carys refusing to do or say things i know they are capable of, three other events ticked me off.

1) the room was cold. windows open AND air con. frugal blake would be angry at the waste of having both these coolants in effect…his voice during summer holidays…you can either have air con or the windows open, but the windows open causes too much dust so we will have the air con….and of course those were the days before cars had rear air cons…. but i digress. it was really cold in the room. i was only wearing one jumper. you would think that my substantial body fat could keep me warm, but that was not the case.

2) the doctor had this spittle on his lip. and you guessed it, it travelled from his top lip to his bottom lip. sometimes it would comfortably attach to both lips and separate like an ameoba, stretching as far as his mouth was opening. it wasn’t clear spittle, it was a circle of white, well formed gob. he was a nice doctor, but i can’t tell you anything about him other than, well, the migratory practises of the gob. how irritating was that? very.

3) the receptionist didn’t understand my sarcasm. by the time we had paid the bill ( you must pay before seeing the dr), i had used up the 20,000 tissues i had brought with me. and still the babies noses were running and bubbling. seeing the need for all three to have a good wipe, i approached the receptionist and asked, "do you have a tissue?" and she looked at me and responded, "you don’t have any tissue?"

and before i could really help myself (not that i wanted to), i said, "well, yes i do but i am trying to save money, so i am using other people’s."

she didn’t get it.just said, huh?

i know i am not funny, but at least i should get acknowledged.

moving on…at the end of the appointments it was stated that the babies verbal patterns were slow to start but are not as delayed now as they were. hand motor is quite good for the girls. carys still needs PT, her achilles is quite tight in both feet. as for jasper, who was at his least flexible today, the dr made a suprising suggestion. his back was turned to me at the time so i could really concentrate on what he was saying:

this little boy needs to go to school. he needs to interact with other kids who don’t love him, and who won’t let him be the baby.

so he’s going to recommend a school or two to magnificent and me.

do you really think that a half day day programme for jj two days a week will benefit him? would it work? do i want it to? do you think the dr takes the gob off his lip and places it in a glass of water at night as one would with false teeth?

would you be surprised if i told you that sebastian approached me on the playground today and told me that he was cold and hot all at the same time?

i didn’t think so. i certainly wasn’t.

so now he’s cough cough coughing and didn’t protest when i put him to bed ahead of "his babies". he drank a nice cup of tea, which warmed him up, right before bedtime. he could be worse. so far he is no where as sick as the triumverate. good news there though…no vomit for 24 hours, thank you very much. AND jasper danced today … definite signs that he is a happier boy.

because of traffic concerns over the WTO being here in hong kong, sebastian has no school tomorrow. lita and i have made cookie dough that will likely yield 4 dozen cookies. and tomorrow sebastian, adam and possibly annie will be here to make and decorate sugar cookies. i have told lita to hold back on about one third the dough, because those kids will ice those cookies to within an inch of their lives and they will not be so edible.

i had two interviews today, and both of them were held in offices that were a real testament to hong kong. this one nice girl had a corner office, and super views of the harbour. something is always happening in that harbour. whether it is the star ferry, chugging valiantly from hong kong to kowloon, or ships unloading freight, dinghies filled with hopeful fishermen, or junks filled with laughing party people, the waters surrounding hong kong are as vibrant as the land the water laps up against.

the second interview overlooked the green of hong kong park, and the incredible buildings that have been constructed in the central district and up along the peak. the interview was in the lippo building, which itself has an interesting history. apparently, it was designed and built by australians, and that the building has jutting out features often draw comments. well, if you look closely, the jutting out figures are meant to be koala bears climbing up the side of the buildings. very neat. and that’s all part of hong kong.

the tram rolling by…it costs $2.00 hong kong to ride the tram (app 35 cents US) to ride the tram, and its alongside a grey chauffeur driven bmw. and both drivers look equally bored.

hong kong is an amazing city. i love love love it here.

i would have updated you last night at 2.30am, but i was holding jasper in my arms.

not good here. bags under my eyes competing with vuitton’s steamer cases.

i took jasper into bed with me because he was screaming and waking the other three up. he was coughing and wailing. and that burbling sound was so deep in his chest, it sounded like a cyclone filled with chairs, pieces of fences and the occasional livestock fighting to break out of a closet.

so i propped him up on charles’ side of the bed, and he was restless. cough cough cough he went, pat pat pat when my hand on his thomas the tank engine flannel jammies. i would start dozing off, and he would jerk awake with a coughing fit. at one point, i lost my grip on him and caught his thigh as he was readying to slide off the bed.

but there was a really bright spot in my day. sebastian and some of his friends were together talking about movies, toy story, peter pan and then someone mentioned the incredibles. they were talking who they would be in the movies. buzz, mr incredible, nemo, and what they would call their movies. and sebastian looked up and declared said, "my movie would be called the best mummy ever." and then he grinned one of those side to side sebbie smiles, and put his little hand in mine.

i felt like an idiot using the edge of a pizza box to wipe my eyes, but i did it anyway. must be the lack of sleep making me emotional.

someone’s coughing and i have to go.