in sickness and yukky health

despite the constant cough cough cough of the THREE sickies interrupting my creative flow last night and this morning, i have finished one of my four stories. i feel pretty good about that but am paranoid about its quality.

it’s a sick household. all three have bronchialitis. jasper is throwing up the little he is eating. looks like he’ll need to start on nebuliser drugs soon. i’m sick after paying the $500 canadian doctors bill for the visit and the drugs.

on the bright side, yesterday sebastian rode a pony for the first time. said "i love horses, but they are bumpy."

i have cancelled attendance at one party this afternoon, one tomorrow morning and church on sunday.

ai-ya.

no surprise – i’m getting sick also, and am looking longingly at the bed. problem is, when i finally GET to bed, i am taking my work with me.

charles, we miss you.

TESS THE MISTRESS OF DRESS?

jasper update: still not eating, refusing milk. won’t walk, only crawls and just wants to be held. falls asleep without dinner at 6pm, even when in the playroom with noisy sisters racing round him. a little concerned.

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i had a very interesting experience today.

i braved the COLD front courtesy of china that is blasting through hong kong and was walking through an area of central known as "the lanes". central, a district in hong kong is a delightful anachronism in itself. not two blocks away from tiffany, cartier, three blocks from prada and versace, are the lanes. the lanes are basically two street lanes about one metre wide, with stalls or walk in shops containing discounted, made in china goods alongside it. this time of year, pashminas, gloves, scarves, north face jackets and jumpers are accompanying the typical wares: purses, watches and children’s outfits.

i slid into one shop, looking for jumpers for the girls. it was past lunchhour, and because of the cold there weren’t many tourists around, so it was basically me and the locals. i am in this one shop, trying to find warm jumpers for the girls, when i notice that i am basically the centre of attention. whatever i pick up, my fellow shoppers root round the bins searching for the identical ones. it was very odd.

please do not think i was a fashion maven people would WANT to imitate. no no no no no no no. over my black t-shirt i was wearing a black cashmere turtleneck, over which i was sporting a jumper, and then a 3/4 length coat. i was wearing a long pair of black yoga pants, the warmest outfit i could conjure up. i was even wearing two pair of socks with my jp tod’s. there was nothing "best dressed" about tess today….but plenty of warmth, which soothed my thyroid influenced bod.

is the fact that i am caucasian (and not even a preferred caucasian because i have dark hair and hazel eyes, although they are "round") make me an instant fashion dictator? was not my own decidedly bulky ensemble not enough to deter them? was the fact that my clothing selections were not adorned with the perennially popular hello kitty, powerpuff girls or disney characters not enough to deter my fellow lanes shoppers?it was a very odd feeling. i had never noticed when shopping for myself a similar situation, possibly because my body type is so different from the average asian woman’s, but with all the pressure from parents for their children to be western, do they think that dressing them as a "typical" north american child will help improve their English?

i shudder to think. or maybe that’s just the cold.

do you know jacob and his family?

i would like to introduce you to jacob and his family. jacob is one of four brothers, and also a triplet.

at the age of three jacob was diagnosed with a cancer so rare that it affects only 15-20 children per year.

their parents started a website to chronicle jacob’s journey and the family’s life, not knowing how long jacob would be with them for. there have been days when i dash to the website, and hold my breath as i click on it, hoping to read that jacob has been released from hospital, or his fever is gone, his appetite is back, or even that he is still alive.

this family is amazing. i cannot fathom what it is like trying to raise four children when one of them has such special circumstances, but this family works together. no one is left out, they all join together and live each day.

if you click on the link, as well as the update, read the history. it is amazing. this family is amazing. God is indeed the great physician.

http://www2.caringbridge.org/fl/jacob/

as you read about jacob’s life, you might get tired of the song looping in the background. i did, and as i was turning down the volume on the speaker i thought, "what a blessing. he’s alive and the updates are plentiful enough to tire me of this song."

check it out.

deja vu day

today has been a deja vu day. back in full force is all the insecurity i felt when the babies were first home, all the self doubt and concern. and nothing too monumnetal happened…it was the sounds and emotions, rather than the incidents, that were too familiar.

carys had a check up appointment at the duchess of kent physio therapy centre. i had lulled myself into thinking they would be so blown over by the fact that my little morsel was running that they would give her the huge seal of approval and tell her that she was a fine specimen indeed.

i had forgotten how carys’ spidy senses perk up the minute we enter the duchess of kent. today she was very apprehensive as we entered into the building, although she relaxed as i veered to the right to the rehabilitation play area instead of straight ahead where the pt tables are.

i took off our shoes and socks and we played a bit while we waited for annie, our pt to arrive. carys was liking throwing the ball, and grabbing kiddie utensils out of the toy bucket, when annie arrived. she looked at annie, at me, and trotted over to where my shoes were lying, grabbed my shoes and dropped them at my feet. then she waved goodbye to annie.

nice try, kitten.

carys then threw herself on the ground and threw a tantrum. legs kicking, arms flailing. i talked to annie about the fair we had both been to that weekend, and we agreed the quality had gone downhill. by the time we had discussed the lack of chicco toys at the fair, carys had stopped crying and had crawled over to me.

really she does walk.

i grabbed one of carys’ shoes (you know they call her marie, because carys is too tough to pronounce), and threw it. rex the labrador couldn’t have done a better job, except she didn’t catch the shoe between her teeth, she ran over to it and brought it back to me. annie got her thoughtful look, and carys and i kept running together, or i threw things for her.

annie brought out her measuring tape and i held carys while she measured her calves.

and announced 20 minutes and some exercises later, that carys, although doing wonderfully, is asymmetrical.

say what?

one calf is bigger than the other, she runs with one had tucked up under her arm, she bends her knees too much when she walks, she falls all the time. and you know, i could live with all of this, because from what i understand, plenty of exercise (and she gets that) and teaching her sports that rely on balance can help this. but the worst bit was…

the left side of her face still has tense muscles that need to be, yes, you got it stretched.

as in the same exercises we used to do?

yes, those ones. we can start now. if we want to cure her we have to cure her while she is young. bring her over to the tables.

i had forgotten how the tears started to push out between her eyelids like round beads when the exercises began. how she would cling to my arm and wail. how we had to stop between exercises because she was choking on her tears and snot. how the session seems to last forever but is really only five minutes.

i have three weeks to forget…her next session is 29 december.

oy.

and then i get home and jasper,who has been running a fever for the last 24 hours, yet again doesn’t want to eat. jasper, not eat? you ask incredulously. yes, it’s true. i picked him up and said

he just wants to go to bed.

i put him in some soft clothes that weren’t so warm and held him while i talked to my mum…and he fell asleep while i played with his hair. i laid him down on his bed and besides breathing a little heavily, he seemed fine. not too hot.

yet 20 minutes later when lita walked into the nursery to put sela and carys down for their naps, jasper was standing up in his crib, very quiet and with BLUE LIPS.

what is this all about?

plenty to drink, some more medicine, testing his hands and feet to see if he was too cold. he seemed to be fine. tired…..

so we laid him down again.

i was supposed to go shopping but i couldn’t, because i was so scared that he might go blue again. my rationale was that he wouldn’t if i was in the flat with him. so i stayed at home until he woke up.

deja vu day, are you almost done with me?

oh she’s finally back…but it’s boring

i have been remiss in blogging this past week, much has been going on. lots of stuff.

the "big daddy" of charles’ company was in hong kong, so there was much entertaining. you’d be impressed…at the dinner i laid down the rules, "NO TALKING BUSINESS UNTIL I LEAVE". and for the most part, they were very good. and i try to leave a little early, so they can get down to business and dissect the day.

three of charles’ colleagues came to visit us on sebastian’s birthday, and they gamely sat down and played school with us. "you are students, i am the teatsah!" dictated sebastian. like the three wise men, the colleagues turned students came bearing gifts, and sebastian "my name is michelle" was HUGELY impressed. the babies, "too young for school!" observed the adults sitting in the circle and were very vocal in their wish that they could join in.

maybe next year.

i have done the round of fairs this weekend. last night was kennedy school fair, where i picked up a great bunch of books and gently used toys for great prices. i bought our helpers kids and grandkids presents as well. and today was the italian women’s fair. both fairs deserve high praise for the food. no prizes for guessing the food served at the italian women’s fair…but my goodness it is delicious. and at the kennedy school night market, they have a "food court" of sorts, where different stalls offer: thai food, indian food, malaysian food, indian food, english (fruitcake) food, filipino food… and you have to stand there with all the delicious odors wafting your way and decide which one you want. the food is all freshly prepared and made by the parents of the school. it was an international heaven, but choosing was he!!.

friday i saw an endocrinologist. he observed, "did anyone ever tell you that when you blink, your right eye doesn’t blink sometimes?" this apparently is a symptom of hypothyroidism. great, so does this mean that i have been seemingly winking at people for years without my knowledge? charming.

i am now on a small low dose of thyroxin, they are starting me out small because as luck would have it, thyroxin is a drug that can render anticonvulsants useless. hmm, weigh it out tess…i would rather be cold with brittle hair than having seizures all over the place. definitely, let’s start out small. i’ve lasted this long.

we’re meant to be putting up our Christmas tree today, but a few things have gotten in the way. i feel pretty badly, but this is life. charles leaves tonight for 12 days in aussie, india and the us, so sebastian and i will probably have to finish the decorating without him. i could get all melancholy about that, but i’d rather not. suck it up…at least he’ll be here Christmas day.

all babies had appointments this week, jasper and sela saw the PT and carys saw an endocrinologist. all news cautiously good. i am sorry, but i can’t think of how the pt could find anything negative to say about sela, but they managed. apparently she walks on the balls of her feet too much. ARE YOU KIDDING? she’s a kid. and jasper…if the pt spent a little more time with him she would realise, he is lazy. not abnormally slow to develop, HE JUST DOESN"T WANT TO.

this is more of an update than anything else, sorry it is so boring but i owed you something.

ciao for niao

ring of truth

saturday afternoon in between preparing for our two parties, i took sebastian to one of his friend’s birthday parties. it was held at an indoor kids play area. sebastian was there about nine months ago at another birthday party. at that time, he wanted charles or i to accompany him on the slides and wouldnt even countenance jumping on the sliding swinging metal pole that takes corners faster than parents care to watch.

fast forward nine months later. i took sebastian on the first slide, and as we were walking up the stairs preparing for slide number two, seeing how quickly he was taking the stairs i asked, "do you want to try the slide by yourself this time?" and he replied, "okay mummy". and he did. and he was wonderful. and he was off. down the slide, up the stairs. he was in seventh heaven.

there was a moment when i thought it was all over…climbing the stairs sebastian had slipped, bumped his lip and someone had stepped on his finger. there were tears, but as he was crying i was aware of him turning his head to watch the slide…and i knew he wasn’t finished yet.

do you want to go again?

yes, but what if i get hurt again?

you might get hurt again, but you probably won’t. do you like sliding enough to try again?

yes.

then let’s do it. i’ll walk up with you.

and i did. and he slid.

and he embarked on the sliding pole as well. it was very sweet, adam and annie were there at the party as well, and the three of them marched off to the pole area together. whenever one of them was on the pole, the other two would cheer, "GO ANNIE, GO!" (substitute correct name). they were very obedient as well, sitting down and waiting their turn, not jumping the queue. very proud.

after a bit, sebastian expressed interest in trying another slide, where he would land in a ball pit. this slide is steeper than the first, and i was so proud of my little man. i stood at the top as he slid down, and gulped a little as he was swallowed into the ball pit. but three seconds later, sebastian jumped up and raised his hands over his head. he was so thrilled! and of course i was a brunette basket case.

i rushed down to him and gave him a huge hug. clasping my arms around his shoulders, my hands met, and i felt the ring i traditionally wear on my right hand. it is a very pretty eternity band, with 10 very nice diamonds.

well, nine actually.

yes, one of the diamonds had fallen out.

i was upset for charles’ sake, but not overly upset. it’s just a diamond. i don’t mean that to sound like we have lashings of cash, but really, the chances of finding the diamond in an environment where kids are racing around was so infestimal, that i couldn’t get too upset about it.

so i didn’t.

it hasn’t been found, and i doubt it will be. but that’s the risk you take when you wear something. you risk damaging it. the other option would be keeping it safely locked up where nothing would happen to it, ever. no thanks.

i will wear my rings, i will let my kids slide, and i will take the risks. it’s called living and loving.

fore!

this afternoon was sebastian’s fourth birthday party.

lots of kids, even more adults and food.

triplets in cheong sams and superman costumes.

please check out this link for pictures and video of everyone singing happy birthday to Sebastian. (but leave me your comments!!!)

four.

the days are slow, but the years fly by quickly.

ma and pa-rtisan politics

my home life is getting political.

depending on the time of day, i have three or four political parties each vying for majority votes. the inevitable loser (can either be an opposition or on the same team) has various ways of making me, the voter, pay for my decision.

at times, it is fricking insane. we have re-elections sometimes every 30 seconds. where i have to choose: who will i embrace and support until the next election? whose "background" doesn’t stink?

imagine this….it is 2.45pm. i have been closeted away in the computer closet for the past 90 minutes, and suddenly i am aware that at least one baby is crying.fair enough, naptime is definitely over. and i have long bypassed that first time mother platitude of "a happy baby shouldn’t wake up crying". who knows how long they have been awake?

as i approach the door i hear there are two wails and i feel trepidition seeping through me. how am i going to handle this. sure enough, jude and sela are awake and sobbing, sela drenching her sheepskin, while the j is standing like jean val jean waiting for release. carys is still sleeping.

the toddler mind works in the following ways:

if i don’t get picked up first, that means i will not get picked up at all and i should dissolve into further tears to express how much i was looking forward to being taken out of my bed.

however if i do get picked up and then get put down, that means i am being abandoned and need to wail.

i have tried carrying both out of the room at once, but no matter how i try it, even in picking them both up, one still gets lifted FIRST. and the other is thus betrayed.

if all three are awake, i turn on the lights and use a cheerful voice and pick them each up and put them down beside each other. this way when they collapse to the ground they can crumple against each other. i open the door to the playroom and tell them once they are sorted, to come on in. i don’t stick around for the drama.

on the playground, we play games with the kids. running games are very popular, as they tire out the little ones and it doesn’t showcase my truly appalling singing voice.

but all four kids start racing towards me, and they’re colliding and pushing as they all aim for me.

today at playgroup, jasper started SCREAMING when i took him off my lap and went in search of carys. by the time i got back he was perched on lita’s lap, but he didn’t crack a smile during wind the bobbin up or even say "shhh" at the end, so you know it had to be serious for him.

despite hassle caused by politics, i am finding the political parties fun. i can burst into the bedroom and see sebastian showing his willing vice presidential candidates how to throw, or teaching them their ABC’s. the giggling and "stop it cawis" or "oh jj, i have lots of babies."

if you don’t vote, you can’t complain. i vote. and hey, what a coincidence…i also complain. but i do tell my candidates what i expect they will do for me, and i am happy to say, i am seeing results. let’s put it this way, they aren’t perfect, but i will vote for them again.

21,000 words

If a picture is worth a thousand words, we’ve slaved all day writing this essay.

Enjoy!

not so much material girls

saturday charles and i took the family up to the peak for a charity fete benefiting orphans in china. there were stands, discounted toys and clothes, food and live performances. all four kids played the steel drums and some hide encased drums.

the live performances were pretty great, for the most part. except one number where these girls wearing shiny crop tops and suck tight low waisted pants came out and gyrated to a techno song. they could have been back up for britney. on the ground, kicking up legs, up again pushing hips out…

oprah and the much beloved nafan have a name for the little kids running around in crop tops and low waisted pants – prostitots. it is a fitting moniker. there are people who question how charles and i put pictures of the kids on the website, and request that we do not place pictures of their children on the website. no problem, i respect that. but when those same parents let their kid dress like jodi foster in taxi driver or paris hilton,  i have to wonder if their concern isn’t misplaced. what was that again? the majority of crimes committed against children are by someone they KNOW.

well, kids will be kids, shrugging parents say. and they’re right.

just wait until you’re there…you won’t be able to do anything about it either.

all the kids dress like this teens explain.

it is always easier to criticise someone’s parenting when their children are older than your own. i have never said to a parent, you let her wear that? because that is sort of a stupid question. if the kid is wearing it, obviously, they do. but the parents aren’t happy about it. say they have no control. i don’t know if that is true. i’m not there yet.

one friend told me how it fills her with pride when she sees heads turn for her daughter. my beautiful little girl! no kidding this girl is gorgeous, curly hair, dancer’s walk, and massive basoombas, usually partially accessorised by a suck tight top. cleavage. charles wanted to say, "of course men are going to look! she’s 12 and it’s every pedophile’s dream!"

what is our responsibility to those girls? i think it would devastate them if someone approached them told them what fantasies their clothes evoke. heck, i am not even a man…what do you fellows think. does a prostitot ensemble (on a teenager) evoke steamier thoughts than say a girl in jeans and a t-shirt? say it was the same girl. parents tell us out of concern that putting images of our children on the web is putting them in danger, but somehow i think it would be more upsetting if we said "your daughter is dressing for trouble". i don’t even know if that is true!

when girls choose to dress as "not so much material girls", i don’t think they do it knowing the fuss they create. they know they get looked at, but i dont think they know the thoughts they’re creating. back when i was 14 i knew it was appreciated, obviously, but i didn’t know the stuff that i was told later. i wouldn’t have wanted to know.

fathers do know. charles has suggested that the girls don’t wear midriff baring tops until they’re 18. ditto sleevless or one sleeve tops. "i know the way men think." he says ominously.

it is very tough for a dad to go from being a consumer to a producer.