you know you have a life short of serenity when you and your magnificent significant other fight over who gets to take your one (1) child to the emergency room vs. stay home with your three (3) others.

this morning sebastian woke up. nothing so unusual about that, i agree. he wasn’t the first to wake up, oh no, jasper pulled a 1.30-3.30am special. magnificent charles got up with jay-jay-jude and took him into the family room, offered him a bottle, orajel, cough syrup, tried to settle him in the pack and play until finally at 3.30am the little man settled. but even with his eyes shut, he was crying confusedly. at 5am i came out and relieved charles, which meant holding jasper in my arms and patting his bottom or stomach in hopes he would shush.

but at 6am, i heard sebastian cry out. now you’ve seen the pictures of sebastian sleeping and so you can imagine that it is not beyond the realm of possible for him to fall out of bed while sleeping. but he usually falls out of bed during the middle of his circadium rhythm, not right before he wakes up. i listened, but wasn’t concerned enough to get up and check, because after that first cry, there was nothing. maybe, maybe, i thought hopefully, he’s gone back to bed.

but i thought i should check on him.

so still patting the jay, i got up and shuffled towards the nursery.

there in the door frame, was sebastian, standing on one leg.

i can’t walk on my leg he announced pitifully, showing me his bent leg.

i put jasper on the floor (he was okay with that), walked back to sebastian and picked him up. i carried him to the couch. asked him where it hurt.

he pointed to his knee.

we established that he could bend and straighten it completely and that the area surrounding his kneecap was not painful. but when he walked, he couldn’t weight bear and was falling to the ground pitifully. yet then when he saw his dad, he took several steps toward him that looked pretty normal to me. i started mentally running through the television shows he had been exposed to while we were away. had he seen a re-run of a christmas carol and decided to pull a tiny tim on us?

charles did the same knee triage that i did. and determined that sebastian should go to the er, just in case.

i’ll take him, i offered. the babies have continued their snail trail of stickiness, and i envisioned reading the saturday paper uninterrupted in the er waiting room (a knee injury wouldn’t get first priority, i could probably take a book too!) while sebastian crayoned or played quietly beside me.

but no, sebastian wanted his dad to take him.

it was around this point that i told charles that maybe we should wait and see if sebastian really needed medical attention. his walking was looking rather normal, maybe all he needed was a good stretch.

but no, they headed off to the hospital.

three hours later they returned.

sebastian has chipped a bit of his kneecap. they wanted to put a full ankle to hip cast on his left leg, but they want a surgeon to take a look at it first. that will be on tuesday. and the not so great news is, the x-rays show that chipping has started on his right kneecap as well. i have no idea what is going on. but come tuesday, i will find out.

so sebbie is hobbling around the house, yet is desperate to get outside and run with his friends which of course he cannot do. i am feeling like the crap parent i so obviously am. sela is crawling up my leg and leaving a strip of snot so long it feeling like i am about to get my legs waxed. jasper is planning on how he will keep us up all night, carys is sniffling around the place and i am also wondering how all three managed to get such terrible colds and low grade fevers. i don’t take them out all that much.

then again, they have been home for ten months now (almost), and not one of them has been re-admitted to the ER in that time. that’s got to count for something, right???

my joy at my homecoming is being sorely tested. my home is housing four germ infested, nonsleeping, whingeing, red, swollen poppets. i gave them two separate, hour long baths (each!) today, because that was the only place that kept them happy and clean. these colds are messy.

you know how you go to fairs or to certain chic streets and you see glass blowers creating their delicate and precise works?

well if you drop by our place, you can see our kids creating their delicate and precise snot bubbles.

you would think evidence of a nasal drip would be needed to create the aforementioned bubble. i am here to report, not so. they can be looking at me, apparently in a normal state, and then next thing you know a shiny balloon is sprouting from their nose.

some of the bubbles are so big i am reminded of the end of charlotte’s web, when charlotte’s ungrateful offspring abandon wilbur by floating away on circular shaped webs. i could mention that carys, who is obviously gifted, can sneeze and end up with two snot bubbles.

drippy noses and weepy eyes are in evidence. and of course, they’re all throwing up. this entire flat is sticky.

inckludingg thhisss keyboarrrd.

hidden meanings and babies on unsuspecting legs

despite an uncanny ability to accurately determine after discount prices as i stand in check out lines, math is not a strong point for me.

it has taken me three days to realise that three crawling babies are no match for my two legs.

if i stand too long in one spot, suddenly i am aware of my pants being tugged in a few directions. looking down, i see two green eyes and four blue ones looking up at me and six wobbling legs all trying to stand.

no wonder God didn’t create kids to be toilet trained before they hit two. they need those nappies to pad those landings. still clutching a handful of my pants, thoomp a baby will land on their tushie, usually after a determined sibling pushed them aside in their quest to climb my leg.

this interest in my calves reminds me not a little of an oversexed dog. so when i look down and see my earnest babies, i have to laugh. but it is also a reminder to me that i cannot stand too long in one spot (ah yes, a deep life lesson brought to you by tess). the dangers are too great. today i was standing by the telephone, and as i turned around, i realised i had stepped on something soft. it was sela! she started to cry and as i picked her up (and she stopped crying i might add) i realised i had seen her not 30 seconds ago chewing on jasper’s sock 10 metres away. these crawling kids are getting fast!

thankfully, jasper isn’t part of the equation just yet. he is a groovy kind of dude and happy to observe. he’s handsome enough to be a television commentator (or mtv v-jay), and is happy enough sitting. as long as i am no where near him when i stop moving, i don’t have to worry about him clamboring up my leg. but avoiding the j isn’t something i aspire to.

the babies love racing around. they really do. and if they are not climbing up me, they are heading to table or high chair legs. their heads have so many red stripes resulting from falls they resemble candy canes. AND IT’S ONLY MARCH.

yes, i have mila and lita, but babies are still falling to the floor. i don’t remember it being like this with sebastian. possibly because sebastian never had to deal with the moving obstacles the triplets do. carys will place a steadying hand on sela’s back, and get to her feet, only to crash two seconds later when sela slides away.

i don’t have the feet, arms or eyes necessary to keep this crew bruise free. what sort of world is this where the safest place for them is clambering up my leg where i will step on them???? man, is that another analogy? not deliberate, so it doesn’t count. unless you are freudian. and if you are, well, then you’re probably still climbing your mother’s leg.

coming home was wonderful. the babies were awake and climbing over each other and various toys when we burst in the door. sebastian and i immediately reached for a baby and while i held one he stroked their faces and told them "hello!" i think carys (owner of one tooth) was the first i held, and sela (who was furthest away) just hustled right over (slap! slap! slap!) and climbed up my outfit so she could get in on the loving. jasper drooled and grinned. and…he has one tooth! bottom left for those who are keeping track.

no rest for the very weary…the babies had a 10.30am doctors appointment. we managed to convince sebastian that he shouldn’t come with us and took all three over to the so familiar waiting room. they were weighed and jasper and sela are about 1.5 pounds apart from each other, weighing in at around 19 lbs and 20.5 lbs. little carys is about 15 pounds. we really do feed her just as much as we feed the others, and she is definitely the best FOOD eater, but she is like my mum and brother, i suspect, just of a different build. she’ll be the little girl at the ballet recital whose leotards are bagging at the knees and crotch, and who at 16 is all thin legs and litheness. (a new word i have created in honour of carys).

young jasper, who is technically 10 months old, is now wearing shirts for children 12-18 months old. maybe old navy stuff just fits small? he is so good humoured. he and sela are talking together all the time. charles walked into their room yesterday and found sela standing up in her crib staring over at jasper, jabbering away. i think we might have to put a curtain or something between them, because their room doesn’t resemble a hospital ward enough already.

other changes, the babies are certainly more possessive. of me, and their toys. we gave jasper a sippy cup full of water and carys motored over to him to have a look, and he just shifted his (considerable) body so that she could not reach his drink. same with toys now. the yanking back and forth is fun to observe.

poor carys had to get blood tests yesterday to check her hormone levels. poor little poppet.of course the first time they couldn’t get a vein, and so they had to try again. try explaining that to a one year old.

she also had to get an x-ray, to determine her growth pattern. the doctors are a little concerned.

after returning from the doctors, sebastian walked up to me and said, "i would like to take a nap please" and so i put him down. at 2.30pm i woke him up for playsport and he kept saying, Please mummy, i want to go back to bed. so, back to bed it was for him.

i can’t tell you how he managed for the rest of the day, because after i woke him up at 4pm, i went to lie down for a bit. and woke up at 3am. a good sleep.

quick health update: things are not good. the plane ride did not agree with me, and i had a tough time in toronto. thank God for good friends who don’t mind being interrupted at all hours to save my hide. as a result, i am now on the fat drug again. i weighed myself at the workout room the DAY i started the drug…and it was respectable. three days later, i was 10 pounds heavier. and it kept going. now, no stranger to destructive behaviour, i didn’t eat brilliantly, but nothing to justify this weight gain.

so i am unhappy.

1) that i am so shallow (mentally! physically, nothing shallow about me!)
2) that this is happening, that i have the uncertainty back in my life.
3) that i dkn’t know why this is happening and that no doctor can tell me.

is it time to start a new drug? what would be such a huge undertaking. and more uncertainty. but when i think about it, things aren’t too stable right now, and i am getting fat to boot. big choices on the horizon. 

but on the good side, i am home again and i could tell sebastian with all sincerity: darling, the next time you get on a plane, the babies will be with you. what a nice promise!

In a few hours we

In a few hours we will begin our journey homewards. The pink elephants in the room are almost fuschia, and soon I will hold them again. Rumour has it that triumverate member carys is getting ready to pop another tooth. Sebastian is asking if he can see his babies today. The best vacations are the ones where you are happy to return to reality.

The birds are very saucy and have definite sugar cravings, they fly right up to the soda fountains, sit on the drainboard and stuff their beaks up the dispenser. Cute to watch as long as you don’t dwell on the hygiene aspects.

Magnificent Charles may not have had the opportunity tp spend as much time as he liked with his siblings (they’re trying to spend time with their families and young wascally wassin is very much a daddy’s boy), but it has been good. Thanks largely I suspect to charles’ colleague paul, work has not bothered charles at all this week, and he has had the chance to relax. And dive. And sail. And swim. And spend time with me.

Motions and emotions

When I leave here, I will not be sated of the green clear water. Every day I stare at the water and every day I only move my eyes away from where blue meets green when someone calls my name. I’m not looking for an answer, or even asking a question. I am remembering, acknowledging, letting the waves rush and smooth over jagged emotions and conflicts.

Balls of steel

What is it about men on the volleyball court? The resort holds daily water and beach volleyball tournaments, and some unofficial ones as well. I went to the courts a few days ago and told a few of the guys milling around that I was looking for a team.

Can you set? One asked me. Sure. I said, although it is not my speciality, but I am adept at it. Because him and me said this beefy sunburnt guy, we’re the spikers.

Now, in volleyball parlance, you wouldn’t say spikers. The term spikers seems to indicate a testosterone level, not a position.

I joined the team, and although we had six palyers per side, there might have only been the three guys. I touched the ball when I served, and when digging, but nothing was passed to me (willingly, you understand. I had to chase and smooth over a few of their errors, as did the other gals).

I palyed two games then left. the next day a few of us were playing an illicit game of four a side when the guys happened upon us, and they asked if they could join in, and the girl who owned the ball said sure, after this game was over. We finished the game, it was good, too, and then she offered to lend them the ball and said she was going to get lunch. I followed. And the guys had no clue why we left. And probably didn’t care.

In other news, we bought some art and went sailing today. We also rented a van and drove arounf the island, looking at locations charles’ mum spent time at throughout her childhood. I know charles was really glad I was there, and I was glad I was there as well.

The art…we bought a piece painted by nick maley, who is best known for having designed yoda from star wars. He lives in antigua now and paints for a living. Known simply as the yoda guy, he is a very talented watercolourist. Check out: www.yodaguy.com

I should say he does a variety of art, but we preferred one of his watercolours.

We might go back tomrrow and buy an oil by a local artist. It is a tough call, though, because caribbean art can look garish in cold climates! I think this piece would make the transition well, but….it is tough to say. The picture depicts four antiguan ladies selling produce on the beach. The colours are very bold, the lines simple.

Son number one has reached a milestone: he can now pronounce his name. Me, sebastian, he proudly informed me. But no worries! Wassin still exists…when playing, sebastian says that
wassin, sebastian, and daddy are fimming together.

He is divine. And I promise you now: I will do my darndest to prevent him from becoming one of those silly boys who believes girls can’t hit the ball. Because not only can we hit the ball, but were good at it, and we like doing it.

Carys got a tooth! I

Carys got a tooth! I am missing the triumverate more than I thought I could. Sebastian is throwing himself into the water and kicking and paddling. Its tough. My sister in law is using this vacation to spend time with her children and family and I am this languishing meatball of a morsel who is glad she made the effort for magnificent and his family, but ….

It is amazing how much time I have. Finished four books already, and reread the very excellent THE NUMBER ONE LADIES DETECTIVE AGENCY.

Here’s one of my earliest thoughts about antigua: there is a strong chinese influence. Lots of chinese takeaways and traditional medicine shops and herbalists. interesting.

More soon, from tess of the tan, that isn’t a burn who is also excelling on the beach volleyball court.

downright creepy

i got this mass email the other day and it is so creepy i would like to share it with the rest of the world.

How Smart is Your Right Foot?

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can’t.

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

now, so that we are not seen as discriminatory (canadians! ha ha ha ha ha), i also tried this with my left foot (no, daniel day lewis was not with me), and got the same result. aggh!

trying to stay off the topic of children…so here is a little something about hong kong.

hong kong loves schmaltz. as if hello kitty (20 years and going, and she now even sports her beau, dear daniel !!) wasn’t enough to convince you of the pop culture mindset, let’s turn to music. in this city of avarice and long working hours, air supply and peter, paul and mary concerts sell out faster and enjoy higher name recognition than eminem and his angry peers. i like that quirk. i like most things about hong kong.

one of hong kong’s most enduring endearing love ballad is by a group called MICHAEL LEARNS TO ROCK. where michael learned to rock is something i don’t know, because before moving to hong kong i knew nothing of michael or his educational aspirations.

but THAT’S WHY YOU GO AWAY is a crazy popular song in hong kong. combine every celine dion, mariah carey, air supply (three hong kong favourites) and whitney houston hit, and you get an idea of the popularity of this song. if hong kong idol was a television show, i am sure every contestant would sing this song when ballad night was on. when i take the kids to pt, i am guaranteed that during my 40 minute stay in the hospital, i will hear this song piping out over the PA system. taxi drivers play it (and sing it, possibly hoping i am a record executive and will make them a star??). when mum and i returned from bangkok, as we were landing our plane began playing music. what song? guess among yourselves. it was even an extendamix version, which was thoughtful because our plane took a very long time to taxi to our gate.

hong kong people, like most WASPS, are not naturally rhythmic people. especially when you compare us to the filipinas who groove to hymns and disco songs on the streets, beside churches, and under bridges on sundays when they have a day off and a chance to let loose. but even these grooving gals love MLTR. interesting.

i should mention that the filipinas like MLTR, but they have other song preferences. one song that makes them happiest, and certainly the song i have heard sung most, has a chorus like this:

my heart goes sha la la la la (clap clap clap)

sha la la

in the morning whoa-oh-oh

sha la la la la (clap clap clap)

sha la la

in the sunshine

my heart goes sha la la la la (clap clap clap)

sha la la la

in the evening whoa oh oh

sha la la la la (clap clap clap)

sha la la la

just for you.

sebastian, with his speech impediment, bless him, managed to stutter out that chorus about one year ago. he was bustin a move with lita and a couple of her friends. he is definitely a white man in the making, but he doesn’t know that yet and he certainly didn’t care then.

the other night charles and i were coming home from dinner and i saw a medium sized billboard advertising REM, who will be here march 20. less than 20 metres along the road, a BIGGER billboard announced the concert date of "musical great" BONEY M.

it’s all about taste.

so i guess there can be no disputin’

hong kong loves "rah rah rasputin"

* as a former journalist, i couldn’t let MLTR go unresearched, so i did a google search on them. they are danish, and formed in the early 1990’s. still enjoying huge popularity in asia, south africa and probably denmark.